About a year ago, what I thought was my life came crashing to the ground. It wasn’t what I would have ever expected to be in the story of my life, but looking back, I am so incredibly thankful that God decided to wreck my plans!
If you know me you know I like being able to have a plan for everything (and back up plans). Sometimes no matter how much or how far in advance we make plans, they’ll never see the light of day. Sometimes the actions of others leave destruction that can never be fixed, no matter how hard we try.
I felt like the biggest failure. I had myself convinced that if I had been better/done better, maybe it would have changed things. There were times I felt pretty worthless, but then I’d remember the sweet little boy that calls me ‘mama’.
I’m not the same broken girl I was a year ago. I’ve had to grow in ways I never imagined possible. I’ve had to learn to drop the act and quit pretending that things are okay when they absolutely are not! I’ve had to let myself lean on my friends and family and let them love on me and Kaz. I’ve had to keep showing up on days when the weight of the world seemed so incredibly heavy.
I’d never wish what I went through on my worst enemy, but I am thankful for the breaking down that lead to me being rebuilt better than I ever would have been otherwise. I am so thankful for the people it’s brought me too. Sometimes the best things in life are the ones that we never had on our calendar but God always did!
So as I am almost to the finish line of being able to close this chapter of my life, I am so incredibly excited and hopeful for the future!